i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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