I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize