Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
