does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
