worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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