my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
