I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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