glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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