i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
