worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
