You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
