he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
