Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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