new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
