quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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