he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your cock deserves a montage
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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