would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
