I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
