Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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