Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
