I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
