She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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