i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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