She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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