I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
