How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you didnt know i had herpes?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize