I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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