if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
