worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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