maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
