no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we're making bets on your personal life
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
