I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This is not my ceiling
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
