tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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