what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
