I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
