How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
