I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
