We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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