I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
