Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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