My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
