i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
