I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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