My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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