I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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