ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
