real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
