Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize