lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are my feet made of real feet?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
