Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
