Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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