4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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