I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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