I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
