Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
