I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???